Just a bit of journaling. I think it's been four weeks since I last saw H. I say I think because I haven't been as bothered at keeping count unlike the last time I had NC.
Yesterday was not a good day for me. I was getting ready for my little sister and her H as they were coming to stay after going out for my older sisters birthday. I felt sad and angry because I wanted my H with me to help with getting ready and excited for their visit. I cried buckets whilst cleaning! In the end it turned out to be a really great day/evening. We woke up this morning, a little hungover and after a lovely breakfast we took their dog out for a walk. We then went to my parent's for Easter lunch and then back over to my older Sister's house as it is actually her birthday today. Had far too much to eat!
Then both myself and D got texts from H to say he left some Easter eggs for us in the recycling bin as we were not home. He also put some money in a card for D. WHY??!!! Why does he do these things? We are trying to let him go. He told us we will get used to him not being with us anymore so why can't he just give us the chance to get used to it. D is so mad she feels like he is trying to buy her affection and I feel so angry at him. It's almost like he wants everyone to think what a great guy he is that he still buys us stuff. We didn't ask for anything and I don't want anything from him anymore. I just want him to leave us alone to heal. Would it be wrong if I told him that?
I don't know why I feel so angry about this. Should I be grateful and thank him graciously? Neither myself or D have responded to his text because we just didn't want or expect him to give us anything. Arrgghh!!!
Me - 47 H - 45 D-16 M - 6 years Separated - May 16
Don't leave me behind can't you see me I'm shining... (Years & Years - 'Shine')
