So Confused and Conflicted (7)

[WshIKnw]

I must be autistic or something because I can't believe the words that I wrote in the last post caused that much frustration and/or offense that I seemed to cause you to feel. Please believe me when I say that was not my intent. And I'm sorry if it did indeed have that effect on you.

I'm going to respond to things you said, individually, not to argue with you, but to try to tone down your negative interpretation of things I said, because I think you're misinterpreting me.

I gave you a huge list of GAL activities, remember? I'm a woman. So how's that figure into your equation?

You did. You are right. Maybe my observation is wrong, but it just seemed like the women responding here were the ones busting my chops the most about how I treated my wife. I just thought it was a funny and interesting observation, though it might be an entirely incorrect observation. I didn't mean to ruffle any feathers.

You talked about me blaming my wife. I'm not just blaming my wife. I blame myself all the time. I beat myself up constantly, whether I write it here each day or not. I'm not sure why some of you seem to think I just blame her. No, as I've said several times here, I blame myself almost entirely for putting her into a vulnerable position -- for not affair-proofing my wife. But I do blame her for confusing me some about how well I was doing, for not giving me the kind of warnings and feedback that I would understand, for not being willing to give me a second chance after I finally understood the danger our marriage was in, and I completely blame her for making the choice to allow herself to fall for another guy, and for never telling me anything about her developing feelings for him, and for pursuing a relationship with him, rather than trying to do something for our marriage, like marriage counseling, and rather than separating herself from this threat to our marriage.

I don't see myself as dismissing anything anyone has told me here, and I'm very sorry anyone feels dismissed.

I meant that somewhat in jest, when I said that people here regard me as an idiot or jerk. I don't think anyone has explicitly used those words. I think it would probably help a lot if you could see my non-verbal communications with the text that I write. I don't know. I'm so surprised by how often I seem to make people mad here.

You said I spin feedback I don't like. The only feedback that I've gotten from anyone that I didn't like, was feedback that I thought was harsh or pessimistic about my chances with my wife. And I can currently only think of one person that has said much of that kind of thing. Aside from that, the only feedback I don't like is when people act irritated or offended by me. And I don't like that because I'm sad that I'm having that effect on people here, especially when I write things that I think are completely innocuous.