Count on ups and downs (III)

[WillDo]

This is the only place for me to talk.

Both of us are back from our travels. Coldness there. But she has another business trip. While speaking about how to do it, she says we need to talk. Says she has been to a lawyer at out home country. And had been advised to move out. She said because I am choosing not to end it that it will go bad and to start with proceedings she would accuse me of things. And of course we talked and talked. I tried to be calm and not really argue. As she started bringing things up I. said our method of talking these wrong that we try to think about examples and take things out of proportion. She said I should have moved out. Brought back my depression that she wants not to be a carer that she needs a partner. And that I accused of having an affair so on.

I finally said we meed to learn to be together for the kids.

I had just arrived from a long haul flight. Even if I hadn't, my reactions would be the same. I feel bad. And trying to get it right. I prepared the dinner. We spoke on other things including the new businesd trip. The kids went to sleep. I went to their room. Both of them hugged with me. They had missed me. Were very happy with the presents and I guess they felt something.

I can't control her I know. She is again accusing me. She did admit I had changed but she can't take it anymore. She doesn't want to grow old with me. She said how things were affecting her health. I said you think you are the only one. My health my work all is impacted I told her.

Another extreme down. She expects help for her new trip. I will. I will have to talk with work arrange things but I will. She wants me to read her and do things.