You guys aren't going to believe this pt 2

[PigPen]

Been a little while since I checked in around here, sorry to read through this thread Thornton. From a well healed outside perspective, I'll chime in. Although Zeus, Mach, Sotto, and 25 are knocking it out of the park.

Man, is it hard to read about the roller coaster you're going through brother, I feel for you. That being said, all the basics still apply and apply heavily in your situation.

Every single question you have about why she's doing XY or Z? Doesn't matter in the slightest. No amount of understanding will bring her back. Use that energy elsewhere.

There's an archetypal pattern inherent in all heartbreak so realize the fear and anxiety is no different than your gas light going off when the tank gets low - it just has to. You having abandonment issues only makes it light up and feel more noticeable. So give yourself that bit of leeway. You're human, it hurts, a lot.

I have to say man, freedom is an inside job. You and I both had WAW's with three departures, so I know the road you're on. It's up and down, back and forth, pot holes some days, beautiful scenery others. It's also crazy-making. The longer you've been on it the more you want it all to pan out in the end due to the size of your investment. But, the peace you get when you're finally of standing next to the road and realizing you don't have put up with the nonsense anymore is glorious.

She's told you three times she's leaving, so nothing's really changed other than your false belief she may stay. Nothing, in reality, is different though is it? She's still going to go and most likely was all along. But here's the twist my friend - she's not your concern any more.

Here's the way I'd look at this, I wrote about it a while a thread - the Island Theory. You lived on an island with her, and now have been kicked off - sorry, chit happens though so time to move forward.

Everyday you wake up and god, or Oprah, or whoever runs things in the Universe hands you $100 to spend for the day. That's it, but it's enough. You've got two choices: spend as much as you can building up your new, amazing, brilliant, gratitude filled, peaceful, healthy, emotionally intelligent, beautiful NEW island....one that you can design exactly how you want it with one caveat - you can't make her live there with you (and again, I say this as a fellow triple LBS...maybe it's time to find someone who finds reasons to stay).

We're the same age, and from what I've read, you're in good health. That means the world is your oyster. You can literally do anything you set your mind and heart to. Anything Thornton. Anything. Swallow that and let it settle. Other women will finish your sentences, they'll get you, they'll do all the things your WAS does....plus more...and they won't leave. Don't fool yourself that she's the only one, it's just not true. There are incredible women out there, MILLIONS of them. (that's a lot btw)

So there's that option right?

Or you can spend your $100 on wondering why, keeping the past alive, worrying, being fearful, anxious, and disempowered. What's that building though? Nothing at all.

Freedom is an inside job...the choice is yours.

Sure, there is a natural process you need to go through with grieving, eating some ice cream and feeling like snot for a while, but after that, it's time to start investing.

If it isn't actively building Island #2, it's not worth a penny of your time or energy. Not one cent. She's not. This situation isn't. Worry isn't. Fear isn't. Be bold in sticking with the DB basics, and start building your new life. You've got nothing to fear here, and everything to gain.

Cheers from the other side,

PP