I really need help and hope.. I don't want a divor

[Sotto]

Hi Judela, welcome back and it is brave of you to return and offer an apology to other posters too.

It may be worth you revisiting some of the comments that were offered to you at the time - and which you found difficult to take on board. Possibly these may be areas you want to focus on now?

V is right about sandboxes. We don't get to control what our spouse does, decides or how they feel. However, we have tons of control in respect of our own lives.

I'm sorry your situation is where it is and that your H isn't talking to you. As you can see my situation went right to divorce, even though that wasn't what I wanted at all. I hoped right through to the eleventh hour if things might change, but they didn't. Might they in future? Who knows.

It sounds as though you are doing the right thing though. Sticking to business, pleasant and dim are the way to go I think, and making sure you look out for your own interests and a fair settlement.

Now then - all of your post above is all about your H and your marriage. DBing is first and foremost about saving ourselves, so what have you been doing for you? How have you been starting to rebuild your own life after this shattering turn of events?

Also, it would be helpful to have some more context about your marriage? Do you have kids? Has it been a long marriage? First marriage for you both? OP involved? It helps us better help you, with tailored advice, if we know a little more about your situation.

I post as someone who didn't manage to save my marriage, but I don't regret my choice to try and I do feel I have successfully rebuilt my life and emerged stronger & wiser from the experience. So, I hope I may have something to offer you.

Chin up and take care xx