25yearsMLC - 10 years later I FILE D

[25yearsmlc]

25, I think you nailed it where you say he didn't do the separate work on himself. You cannot take accountability for that. You did everything right, great DBing, counseling with him, retrovaille, EE for yourself.

I think both you know and I know after being on these boards for so many years, that when someone doesn't truly do the work on themselves, it comes back to bite them in the butt somewhere down the line. You have absolutely no control over that part.

So true. So simple, so true and at times, so hard to do. The letting go of what we cannot control is key

but the struggle I'm having is that I DO have to get through this legal quagmire so I cannot just let go of huge parts of this, at the moment.

Balancing the letting go - against engaging in my life's most distasteful experience yet.