Here Again part 4

[skyhigh]

((TO)), you have my admiration you way you are handling that situation.

Great post BluWave.

The High Road is tough but down the line when you will be looking back, you will feel so much proud and good about yourself whatever the decision you will take to stay with him or to divorce him. It avoids also taking irrational decisions you might regret, and engaging in arguments you cannot win anyway because he will be twisting everything to his own advantage, in his mind he is the victim and you are the abuser. Don't let him drag you in his madness, he needs it to feel better somehow about his choices so don't "play" as he hopes you might do.

Don't engage in any R or M talks, it won't work, it will just start another argument and again it will reinforce his decisions and actions.

In your situation, you need to decrease your stress level as much as you can, one easy way is just to do nothing, to say nothing and just live your life (detach) with you and your kids only in mind. Enroll your parents and your friends to help you for the birth of your upcoming child and taking care of your 2 other kids, don't ask him anything of if you do, keep in mind even if he says yes, he might change his mind just to bother you, so just get ready without him being involved, you will see by doing that, you will start to have a sense of control over the situation and your emotional being will improve. Just by those actions, he will notice that you are detaching and he is losing power over you, so he might intensify his nastiness to drag you again in his crazy world. Position yourself as the better woman in comparison of OW, show to others what kind of husband he is, show them that even during that hardship you are an exceptional mother and woman. He probably won't notice but others will, and MLCers are very sensitive to other opinions.

For this week end, you might just send him a message to remind him of your plans with the kids just to avoid some argument later on about you "keeping his children away from him". I used to do that, sometimes he was coming but most of the time he was not.

One step at a time, one day at a time.
He doesn't define Who you are, show him who you are, what he will be missing. The OW is a fantasy, she is wonderful because she is NOT daily life, she is most probably rubbing his ego and telling him what he wants to hear.