(((To))) I'm still here with you. Haven't posted because I don't feel I have much new to add. I love the advise and support you are getting here! Cream of the crop right here.

After reading your last 2 posts, I wanted to ask how you feel about today? How do you feel about the way you handled it? Do you feel like you avoided more R/M talks? Did you avoid more conflicts? Did you reduce your own stress a little bit? Did you feel stronger after those interactions?

Because from this side of the screen, I think you did great! I hope you can see that and feel good about your accomplishments (being able to STFU and good DB practice). Its all about the baby steps, day by day, and reminding yourself that YOU CAN DO this. And don't you feel better when you do it? You get a little bit more dignity and power back and that feels good. And you take away his ammunition. Win win.

So each day wake up and before you start spinning, remind yourself of this. You have proved you can do this! Remember that.

While DB is for the self--and not to win back the spouse IMO--it doesn't hurt to remind yourself that the best revenge is to succeed at it! If you want to punish H (don't we all want to just a little, come on, be honest) well then you do that by showing him you are strong, confident, and detached! If he sees you perfectly okay on your own, well that will get him second guessing himself. More than anything! That's why I say--win win.

Blu

“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela