Infidelity/WAH, my story pt 9

[PsySara]

Thank you so much Skyhigh. I wish we could meet in real life so we could exchange uncensored ideas, lol!

So the hits sjust keep on coming. My cardiologist was very concerned by what he found on the EKG and even though he has no available appointments until June, he is cancelling a clinic day to do the ablation. He says he will have the interventional cardiologist there as well as he says there is a small risk they may need to placec a pacemaker. I almost crapped my pants when he said that.

Last night WH was friendly and chatty with both his cousin and myself. But by bedtime he was distant and aloof with me. I simply fell into bed exhausted so I could be rested for work today. I came into a huge census and a lot of mess I had to clean up from the doctrines who were covering my patients. In the meantime I have a chest CT scheduled tomorrow after work and then they made the appointment for the ablation for next Tuesday.

I texted WH the updates but didn't hear back until he was driving home. He told me he was working next Tuesday and wasn't sure he could get the day off. Are you sh*tting me?! HE said he had texted some other doctors but some of them couldn't switch. Why can't he simply tell his supervisor that he has to take off because his WIFE is getting a procedure done on her f*cking heart?! My cousin will be out of town on a business trip so I can't ask him. I am scared because my first semester of medical school my aunt underwent a cardiac cath, it was supposed to be an simple outpatient procedure. She died on the table.

Meanwhile WH is acting like ladeedah, no big deal. How did I pick this guy to be the father of my children? How could I have had such horrible judgement? I would give a kidney and a lung to turn back time and redo things. I looked up law in Florida and it's a 50/50 custody default state unless there is abuse or abandonment. So if I go for divorce I lose 50% of my children's childhoods. I feel hopeless and despondent. Forgive me my friends, I need to wallow ni a little self pity for now.