25yearsMLC - 10 years later I FILE D

[Sotto]

"what if he IS happier and what if he DOES live well and what if he NEVER regrets this..."???"

Yes I struggle with this sometimes too. Actually, I wouldn't want someone that I had loved and who loved me to be unhappy. At least from my best self I wouldn't. And in many ways I have moved on and I enjoy my life and wouldn't really consider reconciling with XH in any case.

So, why does it matter? In our case, OW's previous R was also an A, and the family was broken up and then she cheated on that guy with XH...and XH booked a flight to see her and never came back. There doesn't seem to have been any regret and I believe they are still together..that doesn't feel just...that you should be able to build a happy life on that foundation. And maybe they won't - who knows?

I just try to see our lives as completely separate now and that does help. He is leading his life (in whatever way he sees fit) and I am doing the same. But we are D'd almost a year and I guess all of that gets easier. I was also pretty lucky that XH was reluctantly cooperative when it came to the D and a settlement too...

You are right and things will feel much, much easier in time. There are some things to get through between now and then, but you'll do that too..

Xx