I just wanted to respond to this really quickly. I will probably respond to other things you said later. This is how I would say that her happiness and love towards me seemed to be over the last 8 months or so.
One visualization that helped me when I was back wondering what hit me was this.
Imagine your wife as a lake. Now, imagine that it starts freezing from the bottom up. Slowly over the years, the disappointments she feels and the hurt she feels from your relationship cause the water to continue to turn to ice slowly starting from the bottom. Now, by the time that you notice this large body of water is almost ice is not going to be until that top layer freezes. Then youll say "oh my gosh, this lake is ice overnight!" but in reality, it had been freezing all along without your noticing.
What you are suggesting with these checks is to periodically check for ice. Run a pole down and see how much ice there is. To me, thats like lifting a lid to check if water is boiling or opening an oven to see if the food is finished cooking. The act of checking just reverses what youre trying to check. INSTEAD, you should work to learn how to heat the water to prevent it from freezing in the first place.
I hope this will help you to understand. This is not something that you are gonna be able to correct with your W quickly. Little texts every day are not going to thaw the entire lake. Thats like going out onto the ice with a hair dryer - I dont see that really being an effective long term plan. Instead, you need to give her the space and time to thaw back out. In the meantime, you need to become the man that will keep whatever lake you team up with next time warm. Who knows, by the time you learn those skills, you both may be interested in giving it another chance.
But I dont think you have a chance of reconciling successfully without learning those skills or without giving her the time and space to thaw back out.
