I see you as a very strong and capable poster. Your recent raw posts about your life are vital to your well being and totally authentic for you. Anything else is inconsistent with the values you hold.
Others read into your sitch or out of it what they will. There is no control that you can have and projection is part of life I am sure it will be as it can be.
Your sitch is yours and unique to you. Your sandbox.
I am not proposing uncontrolled anger or being angry so that it escalates. Similarly I am do not proposed being uncontrolled in sadness to depression or uncontrolled joy to mania. I am meaning great anger which is action focused and not directed at another but into results. Something that those who are emotionally healthy can tolerate and manage. I would also conclude that the 25 of the angry year is a less formed version of the 25 who is today. And being attached to crazy loco would drive anger. You are detaching from crazy loco, have stronger boundaries and survival strategies. You have more emotional health and have wisdom. You have grief to passage.
Using anger in the D process, directed anger is like the sword of truth. Many of the Giggalo claims are inconsistent nonsense. Such as he paid more for bills than I did and wants the excess back. His assets are more than mine but he wants a slice of mine. He lives with BIT but says she is his landlady. He is in Italy in a rented house and wants me to sell my home and buy him one to live with RIT. Etc etc etc etc.......
It is a question of taking each item and analysing the truth of it. Each item is examined by me for its validity and each item is researched for its counter evidence. For an L to do that is almost impossible. I am the expert on my R and I am the expert on my fins. The L is the expert on the law. I went on a course run by the Law Society on D and the D process. I also attended over a day of lectures on how to present evidence to a court. And soon I will be taking CILEX exams to train as a legal executive so I can represent myself in court at appeal if I need to do so. Overkill? Who knows although it was directed anger that got me there. Anger at the actions of the Giggalo not at him. Anger driving me for justice.
The courts and judges make their own decisions. As an abuse volunteer I can see how well or badly the evidence is presented is important. That and proposing cross examination questions. There is a support that can be offered in the UK called a Mackenzie friend so that those who represent themselves do not go to court unsupported. I have volunteered to be trained as a friend to those who have been abused and who because of fins must represent themselves. It's a seven week training and will be very interesting. That is how my anger is white and directed.
Establishing your own needs and ambitions. Do you want to buy into an income? Own an asset such as a business? Do you have debts? Can you be as wild and crazy as WH? Do you have an Alaska of your own to lay claim to? Have you always wanted to learn to fly? Do you want exotic medication and a Swiss recovery centre. I recently saw that strategy work in court, a mother who wanted to return to expensive training. Her turn to get a specialist qualification. Her needs quantified, if her WH wanted her to maximise her income (so he paid nothing) then she wanted a resource for three years to train. The court agreed. The WH hung himself out to dry with his greed.
Ever wanted to be a buddist and learn meditation? To achieve a lifelong ambition. To travel and be a travel writer perhaps? Now is the time to own your contribution. And yes, a few years ago I did read almost all of your threads, (I skipped some of the MLC bits I confess) so I get the anger part of it in your history, although from my old notes whilst reading it seemed perfectly in proportion to me.
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Your children are adults now and have their own genetics. The populist traditional view is that DNA is 50% of one parent and 50% the other mathematically speaking. That is a misnomer although no natural child is ever a clone of its parent. The mix of genes is one's own and genetics need not be express. That is the root of epigenetics, so that we are in control of our own gene expression. What we do, our food, lifestyle and thinking are expressed through our genes. Genes can be switched on and off. Our genes are not our destiny.
So whilst love is a choice, the adult children becomes loved and admired for themselves and who they are as individuals that is in the expression of their genes. Genes mutate, at least 2% of genetic material is recombination genes and not directly from sperm or egg of the parent. That is the wonder of life. And genetic functions repeat, there is redundancy in that too. So we may not be 50% of one parent and 50% of the other. We can be many proportions expressed and that can change throughout life. I believe the admiration goes to the holder of the gene and for their choices that are expressed. And not the donating ancestors. Those are my thoughts on it.
Children as adults own their own genes.
I love your son's response partly because he recognises the crazy loco and wants you to be free from it. He seems to want you to be free from the prison of the place which is a representation of Alaska. The loco is very visible to your family, more than you knew it seems, and with the right evidence to any court you choose. I think the pattern is likely clear.
You are young still (and yes I know your biological age), with a future to claim. A future to make your own, a future in which you can express your best genes. A future of possibilities opens up to you. Resources will be helpful in making your future.
It's a new world.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
