Let me ask, does she have a choice as to what time of the day she takes her classes (a.m. or p.m.)? If she has a choice, then you can simply state that you will not sit home and keep the kids while she's doing her yoga. She is doing all of this for a reason, and I think you know what it is. You will need to start focusing on you....and what you are willing to do....and what you are not willing to do.
Here's the thing......you cannot expect a cheater to show honor to an agreement, or to tell the trustworthy. Once it is proven they are a cheater, then why just take their word alone? The burden of proof is on her.....not you. IMHO, it is her responsibility to earn your trust. If she is sincere about ending the contact with OM, then she should have no problem in being transparent and doing whatever is necessary to assure you that she is not cheating. If she has something to hide, then she will continue to lie and be uncooperative.
These comments about how "it's not you, it's her" is not acceptable. Trouble is, she's pretty sure it holds you at bay while she continues playing her games. One thing I want you to notice about a WW is how she always wants to keep her H's friendship. She doesn't mention wanting the MR......just the friendship. I've seen it in most every WW story I've ever remember reading. That's b/c a friendship does not require romantic/sexual love. That's basically what you have now......only worse, b/c she doesn't treat you like a cherished friend, does she?
Yoga runs literally from 6AM until 9PM everyday so yes she absolutely has some choices. Tues and Thurs she has our Pre-K child all day so she is limited on those day as there is no childcare program at her studio.
Regarding transparency...I DID ask her for this when she was caught at OM's house and this was the same time she said things were over. She agreed to transparency but I have not called on her to share her texts, email with me as I fear that will come across as controlling or intrusive. Additionally I highly suspect that if there are messages, that she is wiping them from her phone and computer after reading...and if that is the case it does me no good to inquire.
Cherished friend, definitely not but she is treating me as a friend but nothing else. We can still talk and have friendly conversations...we are friendly for the most part but that is it. No affection...up until this week I would still tell her a couple of times a day that I love her, and give her a hug or two a day. I have pulled away some this week though and stopped doing those things (mostly). Additionally, I have started wearing cologne (per your advice), not responding to texts or emails altogether, or taking my sweet time replying. This has caused her to start asking me more questions about what I am doing, where I'm at, why am I wearing cologne, etc. This is the only time I've had her start showing any interest in me. I'm detaching...maybe in baby steps but I'm working on it.
