As everyone here I am so sorry for this place in which you find yourself. Now I know why you seemed to really get my situation so well, you have lived the same life as me but a decade ahead. You clearly deserve better than this, but it sounds like you have to forge your own path to the better. I hear anger and I hear resolute. I see the confidence and the power.
I came to this place hoping for reconciliation, a return, a do over, something. I am beginning to see that the reconciliation is with myself, the return is to me, the do over is going to be with someone else. That is ok. It's ok for you and it's ok for me. While you were writing your post I was on the phone with a divorce lawyer, finally ready to take my path away from his disorder and his malignancy.
Mine didn't go Alaskan (about as far north as you can go without doing so), but he is the same man and the path leads the same place. I wish for you that you find the person who will be there for you in the tough times and tells you now and again how beautiful and strong you are.
