Sellout, you are not an idiot by any means. This process is nothing if not a rollercoaster of ups and downs. It doesn't mean it can't work out for you in the end. It might be hard for people to change, but it's not impossible if they are motivated by the right reasons.
You are right on--actions, not words. GAL and see what happens. Hold on to your hope, but live your life in a way that you will be ok no matter what happens. Realistically, the odds of any of us coming out of this with an intact marriage might be small, but it does happen and no one here can tell you that you will (or won't) be that exception.
