Moored

[HaWho]

Yes Roist, must be!

So here is something interesting. This morning I went see if h answered me about something I sent him yesterday (kid related). And there is an email from him from last week that I did not see. I don't check that email address often.

It's a poem. He starts by saying it's a story of two people who slipped and bumped their heads. When they awoke they were far from their bodies. They sobbed and asked for another chance. No one answered so they began to walk and talk. Until in the fog (literally he writes it) they see a light. It comes closer and it's a huge tree.

It states their names, recounts their lives and scolds them both. They ask for a second chance, judgment was cast but in the end they receive a pass; to what we'll never know until our time comes.

He writes the road is quiet now; the travelers have come and gone. But they'll be more travelers forever, on and on. And he ends by saying journey well, make your words your bond and hope the answers are pleasing to what is beyond.

As I picked up the message today, I quickly wrote back that it's beautiful. Not sure what else to say. My response is late, unintentionally so.

I suppose it's a glimpse of where he is right now. But then he's also huffy because I teased him last night and he took it so seriously.

This weekend I felt abrasive. The music started up: 2 songs I have heard for years now. I vacuumed through it. But my body language showed my annoyance. Mostly I wanted to go in, turn over his mattress and tell him to get over himself already. By Sunday night, things felt tense. I am the adult and he is growing up in a room.

Saturday in the car he turned to me and made a joke. He has not turned toward me in he car in years. I forgot he'd stopped doing that until he did it again.

Later, I heard h tell s11 something. Then s11 came over really sad and told me if I didn't want to go to his game I could stay home?!? I asked him why I would do that. He said it was a lot of time in the car. (Twenty minutes one way.). I asked whose idea this was and he said his and his dad's. Then he fessed up that it was his dad's.

I waited until s11 was at his game. Then I asked h (really calmly and quietly) if he asked s11 to tell me not to come. And this is where he gets so PA. He says yes, very sheepish. He says he knows I had to work and wanted me to rest! Right!! I called him out. I quietly said he sent S11 to do his dirty work and he shouldn't do that. I asked him to tell the truth. He walked out of the car and started to walk away.

I politely asked him not to walk away. He turned and said I was making a scene, which I was not. Plus the parking lot was empty. This is his gaslighting. Anytime he is confronted, he says it's causing a scene. I told him he has not made eye contact with me in years. He said it is unpleasant to do so. I asked him to be direct and say what he felt. He told me I was abrasive this weekend (true) and he didn't want to drive with me. I touched his arm (he bristled in a mad way) and I thanked him for looking me in the eye, saying what he felt vs. texting or sending s11 to do his work for him.

Then I calmly walked away. I asked him a question later, during the game. He was huffy. But he got over it and later in the evening was not ignoring me the way he used to do.