Originally Posted By: 25yearsmlc
When I say I miss him, other than day to day things I know we both enjoyed b/c in many many ways we were well suited...what I really am mourning is 1 of 2 things.

1) The past

It's as if I want a time machine to go back to what we once had, b/c it was damn good. And for years I held onto what we once had b/c I believed we could get there again...so I missed the past marriage. Some folks don't really have that, but they miss something else.

AND OR

2) the hoped for future - I missed what I felt we were going to have, what I hoped we'd have. Traveling in our retirement years (which we could be doing now, btw) sharing hobbies, building a lovely home...visiting our children...




Good lord....that ^^^ makes War and Peace look like a Reader's Digest story....

Whew...

: )



Ya know what ??

I would be a lot more worried about you if you didn't feel that way..

I think the key is, that you should miss those things. And I think that it's pretty normal to see them in that way.


See them for what they were, and still are without distorting an entire relationship together. Try not to demonize him to justify the decisions that you are making now. And I don't think that you are. It just becomes too terribly easy to use that anger as a diving platform to get from the kiddie pool to the big girl pool, ya know ?

I was telling someone the other day, that even after almost 10 years, I still try to honor my wedding vows.

I still love the girl that I married and walked down the aisle to me. There will always be a special place for her, regardless what has transpired between us.

I still choose to honor her, by not talking schidt about her, and being okay with her choices, and generally living a good life for myself

I still cherish the memories that we made together, and the children that I am a Father to that are one half of her...to dis-respect her, is to disrespect half of them too.


I get asked a lot about forgiveness...

I'm not sure that ^^^ is it, but somehow, I feel that it's pretty close..

Maybe it's a combination of acceptance and forgiveness...

Either way...


So where do you wanna be 25 ???