Flotsam

[job]

Over all, everything he has told your SIL is MLC lingo.

First, they can't understand how we could forgive them for what they are doing and/or have done. They don't understand unconditional love. He got caught and you outed him. He can't trust you right now because he wanted to keep his little affair w/the ow a secret. To him, you can't be trusted...never mind the fact that he left you and your child and had an affair and continue to do whatever he's doing. So, to them, outing them is a huge deal and the affair part is just something that happened. Again, MLC lingo trying to justify why he's gone.

Second, he wants to be the knight that rides in on the white horse and rescues her. This is a very common theme for them because they want to be needed, adored and recognized for being the "savior" to the op. You don't need him because you aren't a needy, clingy individual...you are someone who can take care of herself and be independent. This is also MLC stinking thinking.

Third, yes, they think that we will be reunited at some point down the road. They think we'll be right where they left us and waiting by the telephone for them to call and say "hey, I want to come home". They are living in a very slow time warp and in our time warp, time doesn't slow down...we continue to move and evolve and yes, we change, our lives change and hopefully for the better. What the MLCer tells one person may differ w/the next one. They tend to switch up "masks" around different people. Yes, they tell people what they think that they want to here. Whether it's true or not, no one will know for sure.

Fourth, texting you is a way to stay connected to you. Maybe he is really interested in your son, but I suspect he's doing it to have that connection w/you or maybe he wants to appear to others as the good father checking up on his son. Again, mind reading isn't the best thing when dealing s/an MLCer.

Have you given any thought as to the fact that what he's telling your SIL is just exactly what he wants to get back to you?

My question to you is this...why is this particular OW bothering you so much? Do you know her personally?

I would suggest that you detach a bit more and allow that rope to drop a bit more. Why? Because he's still speaking the MLC lingo and trust me, we can't "assume" anything w/them when they are talking like this. Actions always speak better than words when it comes to the MLCer.