Thank you all for everything. There are some very wise people on here and it has been very helpful. I will try and keep the updates rolling in and hopefully start my NEW HAPPY MARRIAGE!! Good luck to everyone else.
I hope you don't think that you are out of the woods. Please read Mach's post over and over. You have an extraordinary amount of work in front of you.
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
So what an absolute fool i am. After she cried her eyes out to me, begged and was 110% wanting to work on marriage...she went right back to OM yesterday. I am sick to my stomach and have 0% hope of anything EVER working again. Just a final dagger in the heart. She is confused, deranged and not my wife anymore. Sick!!
Me: 38 Her: 33 Bomb: 1/6/2017 Separated: 1/10/17 Together: 16 Years Son 12 Years Old She and Son still at the house Divorce Filed/Retracted Multiple Times Divorce: scheduled to be final 6/20/17
She had a fight with OM and it scared her that she might lose both of you.
Remove yourself from the equation. Until OM is completely and totally out of her life (and she can prove it), back away.
Think of your wife as an addict. She is addicted to drugs (OM). Before she can come to her senses, she needs to quit her drug and abstain from it for a period of time until the cravings go away.
Also... always look at her actions and not her words.
So what an absolute fool i am. After she cried her eyes out to me, begged and was 110% wanting to work on marriage...she went right back to OM yesterday. I am sick to my stomach and have 0% hope of anything EVER working again. Just a final dagger in the heart. She is confused, deranged and not my wife anymore. Sick!!
Okay, so there is nothing really new here.
Just back to the same routine.
Welcome to the bounce..
And it hurts, I get that.
What are your choices now ??
What do you wanna see for you ??
A WAW will bounce between decisions. Look for her to justify this later.
Something like, it was just a goodbye, or some crazy schidt...
Be on the lookout for some extreme bouts of anger from her too. She is hurting inside while she struggles with this decision..
and hurt people, hurt people...
Often those closest to them feel the wrath.
Chin up buddy, dust yourself off and get back on the horse...
This won't destroy you , unless you allow that to happen...
I am sick to my stomach and have 0% hope of anything EVER working again. Just a final dagger in the
A cheetah can't change its spots.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
1. Continue with the divorce. We haven't even had our first court date so at a minimum we are 4-5 months out on finalization.
2. Continue (and do a better job of) Detaching.
3. Continue to GAL
4. Prepare myself as though I am 100% done and I am moving on.
5. If/when she ever tries this again and want to work it out, my plan is as follows:
A. Listen to her reasons B. Tell her that I will think about it C. Advise her that I MUST see changes in her actions for a extended period of time. D. If/when I see her changes and they are real and sincere then make a decision if we give it another try.
Thoughts?
Me: 38 Her: 33 Bomb: 1/6/2017 Separated: 1/10/17 Together: 16 Years Son 12 Years Old She and Son still at the house Divorce Filed/Retracted Multiple Times Divorce: scheduled to be final 6/20/17
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
Jeep74 - precisely. That is what I am getting at. Actions (long-term), not words.
Me: 38 Her: 33 Bomb: 1/6/2017 Separated: 1/10/17 Together: 16 Years Son 12 Years Old She and Son still at the house Divorce Filed/Retracted Multiple Times Divorce: scheduled to be final 6/20/17
Jeep74 - precisely. That is what I am getting at. Actions (long-term), not words.
Yep...but you've been fooled twice now...
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
Me: 38 Her: 33 Bomb: 1/6/2017 Separated: 1/10/17 Together: 16 Years Son 12 Years Old She and Son still at the house Divorce Filed/Retracted Multiple Times Divorce: scheduled to be final 6/20/17
