It takes two to make it work (pt. 6)

[Bird]

Do I need and deserve much more? YES.

Will I break my vows to her and go find that with someone else? Not in the cards for me.

As for reasons/motivations to stand...I think my reasons are based in the word. I made my vows and I take them seriously. I also, for whatever reason love this batchitcrazy woman with all my heart. I would love her if she were in an accident and crippled. I would love her if she were diagnosed with cancer. I would love her if she decided to never return to our family. To me that love is unconditional. That being said...I don't approve or like who she is right now or what she is doing, but the love is unconditional.

As for the rumors, you are correct...should they be true, then she has a lot of work to do before I'd ever let her come home.

The things I do know:
I have to be strong for my kids and for myself.
I know there is a God and I am not him.
I know He has a plan and I do not know what it is.
I am learning to accept His Will for my life.
I am going to take it one day at a time and give thanks for all of the good things that I do have in my life.

THIS is why you are my daily inspiration on this board SBJ. I feel exactly the same way about H and my family and I'm trying every day to let God do the lifting. Wish I wasn't such a control freak, lol.

Touch is not high on my 5LL (I'm a words girl), but I feel you on the 9 months thing. Nearing 1 year on any kind of real intimacy and it wasn't even that good of an experience. I think he knew what was going on before I did and it explains a lot about that morning, lol. Still, it's amazing how you crave something simple like an arm around your waist when no one is there to offer one. Stay strong, I know it's tough.

I was going to post over on my thread that I'm going to have to start a playlist of SBJ's motivational music. My sister has been trying to get me into Chris Stapleton so now that I've got two people on my case I'd better give him a shot.