I understand you have some deeply engrained patterns stemming from your childhood. I do too.
It's not about being "tough" but facing the fears that have held you back. Have you considered seeing a therapist to sort some of those things out?
I'm actually gonna start seeing my therapist again tonight after work.
Please take some time to read up on codependancy. You (and I) have basically made our spouses our reason for being.
Your first assignment is to work on your self esteem. Who are you without your wife? If you don't know, thats a good place to start with your recovery.
You gotta be able to stand on your own 2 feet before your wife with respect you. And your wife needs to respect you before she can start loving you again.
