ILYBNILWY

[MoveFrwd]

You're right, I had expectations. I was trying hard not to, but I did, and I paid for it. I normally have REALLY good impulse control, but right now I don't, so I'm talking when I shouldn't be, I'm saying yes to things I should say no to (I managed to say no last week, but instead of making this about D she implied it was about us, and I caved).

So maybe it's time to start saying 'no' to any kind of meeting?

Why am I still watching that level of activity? I don't know, it's just there. Oddly enough, I see it as part of GAL now (the social aspect of it at least), but it's hard to ignore her.

So can you block or unfriend her? Get her name off of your list. And especially get OM's name off.

I still have this tiny, tiny hope that things will change. I can't step on it, it goes quiet for a while, but it sticks its head out. I know that nothing will ever change while OM is around. I feel like she should be called out on her [censored], that's she's being so disrespectful I have to tell her. I'm not in love with her anymore. I Don't even LIKE the person she is right now. I realize it's useless and counterproductive, but stepping on feelings right now is so damn hard.

I think hope is good. I think it is a good instigator of change. But the best thing you can do is leave her alone. She isnt interested in you as a husband right now, so stop trying to do that job right now. Keep your focus on you, not on the things in blue above. Those dont matter right now.

Right now, do you know who I am? I'm that person who has a problem that needs medication to fix. I've had numerous opinions on the subject, and everyone agrees I need to take my pills. But I'm refusing to do so "because I don't like the way they make me feel." I can't (won't) follow this good advice I'm getting, because I don't like how it makes me feel.

So its up to you whether you want to stay sick or become healthy. Either way is going to be hard. Do you want to be sick or healthy at the end of it?