ILYBNILWY

[Thornton]

Hey Buddy,

I know exactly what you mean when you say you've built an emotional support structure around W and D.

I have struggled with that as well. And as a result, now that WAW and SD are leaving, my anxiety has spiked and stayed spiked. Im exhausted.

It's still early days for us (moreso me than you)but it will get better as your mind and body adjust to the stress you are experiencing.

Are you going to the gym to burn some of that anxiety off?

[EastTN]

No gym close enough by. 20 minute drive, and no child care options there. 30 minute drive to somewhere with care for D. Beyond that, my evenings are consumed by caring for D. Dinner, homework, etc, so even if they were close the option isn't really there.

I have a treadmill, but I can't walk it after I put D to bed, because it's too loud. Going to try to walk some while she has free time after dinner/homework.

Thanks for caring, Thornton. I'm sorry you're going through this, too.

[JRuss]

Jumping jacks, pushups, situps, lunges, planks, wall-sits, squats . . . all can be done virtually silently and in your own home, while your D sleeps. Go Beast Mode.

[Thornton]

^^^ and there you go!

[EastTN]

Just got off treadmill, walked/ran while D was watching youtube during her free time. Worked pretty well. I'll try the calisthenics next time I need to do something while she's asleep.

[MoveFrwd]

You're right, I had expectations. I was trying hard not to, but I did, and I paid for it. I normally have REALLY good impulse control, but right now I don't, so I'm talking when I shouldn't be, I'm saying yes to things I should say no to (I managed to say no last week, but instead of making this about D she implied it was about us, and I caved).

So maybe it's time to start saying 'no' to any kind of meeting?

Why am I still watching that level of activity? I don't know, it's just there. Oddly enough, I see it as part of GAL now (the social aspect of it at least), but it's hard to ignore her.

So can you block or unfriend her? Get her name off of your list. And especially get OM's name off.

I still have this tiny, tiny hope that things will change. I can't step on it, it goes quiet for a while, but it sticks its head out. I know that nothing will ever change while OM is around. I feel like she should be called out on her [censored], that's she's being so disrespectful I have to tell her. I'm not in love with her anymore. I Don't even LIKE the person she is right now. I realize it's useless and counterproductive, but stepping on feelings right now is so damn hard.

I think hope is good. I think it is a good instigator of change. But the best thing you can do is leave her alone. She isnt interested in you as a husband right now, so stop trying to do that job right now. Keep your focus on you, not on the things in blue above. Those dont matter right now.

Right now, do you know who I am? I'm that person who has a problem that needs medication to fix. I've had numerous opinions on the subject, and everyone agrees I need to take my pills. But I'm refusing to do so "because I don't like the way they make me feel." I can't (won't) follow this good advice I'm getting, because I don't like how it makes me feel.

So its up to you whether you want to stay sick or become healthy. Either way is going to be hard. Do you want to be sick or healthy at the end of it?

[Dawgs]

Jumping jacks, pushups, situps, lunges, planks, wall-sits, squats . . . all can be done virtually silently and in your own home, while your D sleeps. Go Beast Mode.

Add in 8-count body builders, burpees, etc. The amount is limitless as long as your mind isn't.

[Dawgs]

I think hope is good. I think it is a good instigator of change. But the best thing you can do is leave her alone. She isnt interested in you as a husband right now, so stop trying to do that job right now. Keep your focus on you, not on the things in blue above. Those dont matter right now.

^What he said. Well, you know about hope and crap, which one fills the hand? As he said, she isn't interested in you as a husband, PERIOD. Not now and probably not ever. Take care of yourself.

[EastTN]

Unfriended on XBL. That was hard.

We actually had a big fight yesterday (about her move out, she basically wants a blank check for funds, I objected. It escalated).

We're back to no communication, barely even talk about D. Probably for the best. Meeting with lawyer on Thursday. Not filing. I hope lawyer has idea about interim parenting plan without D or legal S.

Backing off in general. Whatever happens happens at this point. I know what I want. It's on her to figure out what she does.

[Thornton]

Sorry to hear that, East. It's hard not to get sucked into the madness when the WAS spews.

Good job standing your ground!