How do I know if my Husband is having a MLC?

[love1st]

I know I need to move on. I met with my counselor again this morning. and I told her of my conversation last week. She and I dissected it and she pointed out that my H most likely has the brain chemistry leading to alcoholism. He has on many occasions told me he likes to drink, get drunk, go to a bar and listen to music while drinking - his hobby, I've come to see clearly now - is drinking. Though he doesn't drink every night (at least while we lived together and I could see him), he drinks at every social event possible.

I thought it was normal - like hanging out with the guys. "A man needs his freedom", right? Well, in hindsight, I understand that the OW is not a love match. It is a drinking match. He specifically told me that "we have drinking in common" and "she likes to drink more than you do".

I am not a teetotaler but I'm not a "drinker" either. I love listening to music and throwing back some drinks! I have drinks now and again when at parties, etc. However, I can now see the "fundamental difference" that my H was talking about - he wants a life of no accountability, no responsibility and drinking. I'm up to more than that. I want a partnership, marriage, commitment, love, loyalty and personal/partnered growth. When I married him, he was up for that too. We both were very much into personal development and bettering ourselves. Then we had our son and life happened....we stopped growing. I think his brain chemistry kept going toward his alcoholic tendency.

Right now, there is no chance of reconciliation. He does not want to change. It is clear that he has made his choice. Just like his dad, my H is choosing beer over his own family...his own son.

I am sad - hurt - disgusted - and feel like I failed tremendously. I know I can't go back but I keep thinking how could I have prevented this from happening?? Could I have seen the signs of an alcoholic in the making? Could I have stopped it from happening if I had seen it?

We have an 8 yr old....I know I now have to be very vigilant about the signs of this so that (1) I can spot it early on when I begin dating again and (2) so I can see if any such tendency is in my son.

I'm scared about this...I'm sad about this....and I feel like I could have prevented it.