This morning I feel empty. I pulled up to work and sat in my car and wondering what the purpose of my life was.
The pain is real. My stomach is in knots and my chest is tight. I even threw up in the shower this morning from anxiety.
I feel like I'm coming off heroin, and constantly feel sick.
All I want to do is hide underneath a blanket and sleep so that I don't have to feel anything.
My mind is still in shock that I'm back here after all the fun things WAW and I did in our relationship over the past 10 months since reconciling. We were like teenagers again.
And now, she wants to leave again 21 days before we closed on our new house. I called the Realtor over the weekend and let her know we would not be buying the house. I lost 3k in earnest money.
I know everyone says GAL. Its not that easy for me. I'm naturally an introvert (probably why I am codependant on WAW). Sure I can go do things by myself, but all I would be doing is thinking the same thoughts as when I'm laying on the couch.
And to top it off, because WAW and I were out doing so many things in the last 10 months, EVERYTHING is a reminder for me. And it triggers my depression and anxiety.
