Something occurred to me as I read your post, Kyh - we all spend so much time trying to figure out the weak link in our lives, aka the MLCer. Think about what we could do with the amount of time spent on trying to figure out someone with a mental illness!
We're never ever going to figure them out, period. We are using logic and they have none at the moment.
I'm not picking on you. Lord knows I turned myself inside out plenty of times trying to please exh or at least avoid making him angry. Gotta keep the peace at all costs was my mantra. Well you know what doll, screw that. You've gotta keep the peace in your heart. Focus on being your authentic self and the rest will follow. You're a very consistent person. Your kids come first. You always try to do the right thing - not hurt your w, not seem like a jerk. Her interpretations of you are always going to be through the prism of MLC, so some days she might really see you and others she might see the person she's made up in her head.
I'm sorry if I sound harsh. You are turning yourself inside out and causing yourself excess stress trying to please someone who cannot be pleased. This is just my opinion. I'm not saying you shouldn't care either. I'm saying take care of you and please yourself first. The rest will follow.
(No idea where all that came from)
xoxoxo
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
