I am glad you are talking things through. Sometimes friends are there just to do little bits of nothing or scraps of something. Friends who just walk with us, go for coffee, are at a book club. Nothing less than simple.
Every interaction need not be deep and meaningful, it can be wonderfully superficial fluff.
And that is ok.
Its going to hurt a lot, this year it's you, last year another, the year before me. Just be you and breathe.
Let me let you into another secret, there were days on end I sat and stared at the sea in pain and hopelessness. I did not want to be any more, just gone, the pain over. To be invisible.
My business disintegrated around me, then I got up dressed to the shoes and sat and watched the sea from a cafe. Then I walked and walked in the rain, mist and dark. Just walked. I joined a walking group for several days. Just to get out, talking monosyllabically. Gradually shift.
I dislike walking and the fresh air. I am as pale as moonlight and the sun burns me. It was good it was winter.
Then I dedicated myself to GAL, I turned everything to GAL I could. From the gym and coffee with staff to conversation with neighbours. I even created GAL points. Now it's second nature, my world is GAL. 98% is superficial nonsense, and it's still GAL.
Let me tell you about clothes cognition, dressing every day in a costume for the roles you play. Your costume (dressing to the shoes) makes you active to GAL. So whatever you need to get that pilot experience, white shirt, blazer, slacks or ex. So want to feel down. Dress as I did in dirty sleap attire plopped on a sofa. Instead active clothes and trainers for that walk, with warm coat and scarf. Eventually business clothes and shoes for the turn around.
Simple stuff creates a virtuous cycle.
I am very pleased to hear that you have IC and supportive church and family. A smile hasn't hurt me either.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
