It does however sound like your fiance did this to you once before. And now he is doing it to you again. To me it would make sense that he did this to his wife and she has been reacting or vengeful.
He did do it once before, and he didn't learn from it. I see that now. One would think that hearing that he knew he'd taken me for granted, and that he'd loved me the whole while, and admitting that he held onto my things to maintain a connection with me would be enough to trust him again.
Now that I've been reading up on MLC's, I think he's been in and out of one the whole time I've known him. I think he truly loved me, but I also think he looked to me to make him happy, and that's part of the reason the second time failed. He's blamed me for his own unhappiness.
He told me I was the only woman he'd dated who ever fully met his needs. He met me when he was in therapy, and I think that led him to make a healthier choice for himself. Unfortunately, just when he was starting to dig into depression and family of origin issues, his counselor decided to stop accepting insurance and he could no longer go to her. I think that traumatized him, and he felt abandoned by the counselor, who had assumed a motherly stance with him.
With his XW, it seems like what they had was much different. He'd always deferred to her. He didn't choose to end their M, though what he describes was him being totally emotionally checked out.
It's almost the total opposite with me. He was totally checked in with me, and he knew I loved him, so it makes it safe for him to assert himself. No other woman (Mom or XW) would be okay with him expressing anger. I was, and so all of that was projected onto me. That's part of the reason I had to get out of there, even though I wanted things to work.
