Honey crazy exes are crazy, just as mad dogs bite. It's territory that may be well trodden. Crazy exes are crazy for no reason at all. They interfere with life and mess things up when they can, especially until the kids are no longer dependent, then the grip lessens. One thing I have observed that the closer the kids get to independence and adulthood the crazier the crazy ex becomes. It's because they see the resources moving away from them. There are many abusive strategies including breaking up their partners new R.
That's so tough a sitch to be in and bewildering.
I can only comment from my own practical experience, my ex is a crazy ex and thats one reason I haven't dated (amoung many). My XWH is suing me for money he paid into the joint account for bills). A part of the period he is taken legal action we co-habited (the majority part in fact) was for a three year period before M. My research and L advice reveals to me that payments between live in spouses are considered gifts (they can't be sued for). Google 'the worst boyfriend ever'. I think therefore that you may find the net proceeds of sale of your home will be divided between you and any calculations will ignore anything other than the deposit. I am not an L though and in a different jurisdiction just having similar issues, but my those are my thoughts. For those who are also curious you can't take civil action against your spouse in the UK, marital (family) law applies. Family law is it seems an equitable law position. Duh!
You have made some very brave decisions on venturing into the wilderness with your own tiny haven. And you write clearly and well about your pain.
I can only say that with peace it gets better. Some of it never truly makes sense especially if your bf doesn't want to be with mscrazy. So instead of you two being solid in the sitch it has created guilt or even worse shame and obligation in your bf. If I read you correctly it's about $$$$$ not R.
Keep posting and let us know how you are.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
