Wading through. I think I'm dealing with a MLC.

[Sotto]

Yes, it's interesting the dynamic with the ex-wife. Me and XH met online a year after he and his XW1 had separated. His S was just four at the time. I met his ex W after we'd been dating for a year or so and they had D'd. I have to say, given my experience now, I wouldn't even consider dating a guy who was married, even if separated for a while...but that was then..and maybe a lesson needed to be learned.

I have been lucky enough that XH's XW1 has been very kind and supportive to me. She is pretty miffed about the turn of events and the impact on SS. Recently she told me that she liked me as soon as she met me, and worried that I had been duped by XH and his narrative of events...she may well be right. I'm also a little conscious that her feelings about the ending of their marriage may have been validated by the ending of our marriage too - ie: it's him that's defective here and not me etc...I try not to buy into it too much really..

When I see people posting about being affianced and running into difficulties then (unless they have kids together) I tend to think - wow lucky break discovering all this before you committed to marriage. Head for the hills and be thankful!

I would agree with Juju and be cautious about blaming the XW for the current state of affairs. Normally the lives we come to lead reflect how we have conducted ourselves thus far. And of course past behaviour is the most likely predictor of future behaviour unless there has been some pretty significant awakening..

Anyway, I hope there is some helpful nugget in here for you - if not, do feel free to discard...

Good luck with everything :)xx