Looking for a miracle.

[Irish M]

Hi Peace, your post made me think so much of my girls. That they are ok and they understand their mom is not well. You have been the rock for your kids. Job well done.


Just an update from the grandfather visit
Went to see XW's dad last Friday. Took the kids out of school and made the 3 hour trip.

Quick intro to her father and girlfriend
I'll call him Charlie and her Ruth.

Charlie is a LBS'r. From what I heard he took it bad. Became suicidal and depressed. Self injured himself to get attention.
He lost his job and never worked a day in his life again.
Went on disability and looked for a roommate to share expenses.Ruth comes in the picture. A widower who never worked and had 3 kids to raise. Needed someone to care for the bills, house and lawn.

First few years Charlie saw my XW a few weekends a year. Did camping trips with Ruts kids. XW sister was old enough she moved in with her boyfriend. As time went one it was 2-3 times a year.

Charlie and Ruth never shared a bedroom and it was friends only. It was made clear to everyone. Ruth was always cold to Charlie. We never liked Ruth.

Fast forward to his colon cancer diagnosis. Tis was before the BD and I believe was the trigger.
XW was crying and sad she wasn't close to her dad. XMIL invites her over and trashes Charlie because XW is sad for him. XMIL tells XW that Charlie her dad, was controlling and a bad man. That was why she left him long ago. For hewr survival and she went with a car salesman that XW never talked about except that he was a player.

XW comes home that night saying she will never talk to her father ever again. Countdown to my BD starts then. 4 months later XW leaves.

Me and the girls visited Charlie a few times after XW left . I called several times. Never an attempt from them to reach us. No birthday or Xmas card , nada.

Fast forward to this Friday

We showed up before lunch. Charlie is in bed resting because he was running around the day before shopping. We sat with Ruth. The girls were good and played along with Ruth. Conversation was about Charlie. She talked about him dying. He isn't doing well and the girls need to see him often before he goes.

We have lunch and Charlie gets up, he sees the girls. Tears flowing from his eyes and the girls eyes too. I get chocked up as well.
We talk about the girls and his health. Girls are clearly happy them came to see him. D16 mentions her love for cacti. He grows them and offers her 3 small ones.

She goes upstairs and Charlie, myself and D14 stay downstairs.

Ruth is upstairs with D16. She's says to D16 that when Charlie dies she can come back and take all the plants. She will want then out of the house.
D16 told me this on the drive back. It made her feel sick to her stomach that Ruth considers Charlie gone already and is planning the clean up.

We return upstairs and I see D16 is off.
Then Ruth starts...

"Girls We saw your mom last weekend. Haven't seen her for nearly a year. She was with OM.
They seem so happy ."
D14 and D16 both roll their eyes and motion to me, lets go. I spoke to Ruth before arriving that we are not to talk about OM.

We go into the living room while Charlie lies down for a few minutes. He gets tired fast.

Ruth goes on... " you know, you can call and come here whenever you want. It's not right that it took so long for you to come back."
I guess she doesn't remember our attempts last year and nothing from her.

I got up and motioned the girls to join me to go say goodbye to Charlie.
The girls sat on his bed and held his hand. Said their goodbyes , hugged and kissed him goodbye.

He asked me to stay a moment alone with him.
"Thank you Irish, you can't imagine the joy I feel seeing the girls before I go. You did well with them. They are happy, i feel it. I wish I was half the man you are. I failed my Daughters, you didn't fail yours. Say goodbye to your parents and family. I wish you well"

We left there feeling peace. Saying goodbye was needed. I didn't want the girls to have the regret of not seeing him. We will see how things go in a few weeks we will go back. If he passes then we wish him peace.

today the girls get an email from XW.

Hi my baby girls, I heard you went to see my dad. He loves you so much and was sad he hadn't had any news from you in a long while. You know you can call him whenever you want. Your dad has his number but in case here it is 555-555-5555

about me, I am in a clinic waiting to have my tooth fixed. Its a dead tooth that my insurance won't cover. So it will be expensive. It's a specialist that insurance doesn't cover so $$$$

I hop you both are doing good. D16, you graduate thais year I will be thinking of you like I always do. D14 I hope your medical condition is solved and everything goes back to normal.

I adore you both
Mom

The girls refused to read it.
I will put it in a folder so if they chose to read iut another day it will be there for them

Hope you are all having a good weekend. Warm weather and sunny skies are upon us. Get out and enjoy the day tomorrow. I will