I've still got lots of sorting out to do in my house. I'm nearing the end of sorting through clothes soon, and I've moved on to bags as well. I know it's taking me absolutely ages, but I'm doing it all quite mindfully, which is taking quite a lot of time and energy.
Good grief I know the feeling. With the kids I have precious little time to normal cleaning, much less anything else. But I don't complain one bit. The weekends they are at their mom's is cleaning time that we don't do otherwise.
It's strange, a while back I suddenly started wondering how I ever had enough time and energy for a husband :o)
I mean, I know there have been times when I've deliberately made sure I was very busy just to fill up the time and so I didn't have to think about things (or feel things related to this whole process). But there have also been a few times when I genuinely wondered how I had the time and energy for a H and a M. There was no feeling attached to that thought, no sadness, heaviness or nostalgia...just quite a neutral observation and curiosity. Very weird.
Originally Posted By: Jeep74
Quote:
Marie Kondo's second book
Interesting. I will look into it.
Did I mention what it was called? 'Spark Joy'. I'm a bit of a hippy at heart (upbringing), so the whole 'tapping into the feelings something gives you' is right up my street.
I've just never really explored it with material possessions before. I think I used to get very attached to material things, mostly as a way of trying to fight against loss and as a way of thinking I could gain some sort of control over 'life' and 'life stuff'.
Of course, all of that is an illusion really. You can't control 'life' or protect yourself against 'life stuff' (a lot of which is to do with loss). That's what's been really brought home to me in this whole process. So in my usual way, instead of running away from all of that, I've gone head first into it.
If something makes you feel frightened or uncomfortable, you don't run away from it, right? Because then it has power over you. You stand up tall, hold your head high, look straight ahead, and then start to really look at it, take it apart, examine it, a little piece at a time. You feel the feelings associated with that slow examination, observe them for what they are, observe them changing and shifting, at times subtle and mercurial as they may be. And you let them go.
I would say all of that though, the hippy that I am. But hey ho, I've not found another way through this (for now). There may be other ways through this, I don't know. I'd be up for finding out what they are though. I'm always curious.
Originally Posted By: Jeep74
Quote:
I think I've become much more attuned to tapping into how things make me feel now that I've been doing it for a while, which makes me think I could quite easily go another round of going through things again soon, starting from where I first started.
From what I can tell on here, it seems as what you are doing is working for you! Good on ya!
Thank you. I'm absolutely loving this. Admittedly not all of the time, but there's nothing there that I'm not enjoying finding out about myself. I'm not sugar coating stuff about myself to myself, I know there are some not so wonderful things there. But everyone has those, so that makes me the same as everyone else really. It's just that mine are peculiar to me, and that's what makes me me.
I think I'm learning to be comfortable in my own self. And that's probably the first time it's happened in my life. It makes me feel a bit sad that I should have to have gotten to pretty much 47 years old (and an M/D) to have just started to find this state of being. But it feels like a very nice play to be, it feels peaceful and like you're standing on solid ground within yourself (a feeling I've never really had in my life...I've grown up with a huge amount of insecurity on many fronts).
