Lol ... no ... there is no chance she would have parted with 2 pennies, this is the one thing that has been consistent Pre/Mid and I assume post-MLC.
Originally Posted By: Irish M
Hi Cali
Made me laugh about your W claiming your son. It's not funny but funny in a sad way
My XW did the same. Only she claimed both my Daughters and also claimed she lived at my address alone with them.
She had to pay back 7000$ that she received in child assistance money from the government and is on a watch list for fraud. If she goes in unemployment in the futur she may be refused.
I was livid.. but again this was prior to me knowing anything about MLC, I do sometimes wonder how I would have handled things had I ended up here early on like most (Not for a different/better outcome mind you ... just for my own personal journey and if it would have accelerated or possibly made me stay a bit longer) ... I was already a good chunk in before DBing and even further till the MLC pieces of the puzzle came into play.
Originally Posted By: Sotto
Oh my goodness Cali - what a story about the tax issues unfolding...
I'm so glad to read of how well you are doing. From all that you post, you sound like a great guy and I'm sure life will hold many joys and blessings going forward.
As for your marital situation - well that unfolded just about as badly as many here - including my own. However, saving yourself does mean that you manage not to become defined by the disaster - and the learning and growth are gifts indeed.
Take care and glad to hear from you
Yeah ... well like ALL here, this is not something one asks for nor even wishes, in fact I would not wish this on anyone but as I have grown and now able to look back honestly at some things in my life I can say I am better for it all, I also know I would have never made the changes I have ... if MLC did not hit I would most likely still be married, living day to day and just going through the motions. Besides the obvious desire for my family unit to be back, missing what was here and there I can accept it all without bitterness and see it for what it truly was .. a rebirth, a second chance, a do-over if you will.
Originally Posted By: mleigh4
Hey Cali,
Always good to hear from you, I look forward to your updates.
Wow, the tax story is a very good case of karma. I always did believe in it, and so glad that situation turned in your favor.
Letting go has been the very hardest part of all of this. You are lucky to have your support group, I am so glad you found them. Can I ask how you found them? My girlfriends are wonderful, but it would be nice to also have the social support of others in the midst of it all.
Take care Cali, M
Letting go was for me almost impossible. I still laugh at myself when I read along here and everyone is giving advice and talking about detachment which I completely stunk at. I just could not let go ... I was so connected (co-dependent) it was seriously impossible for me until as I have shared with a few ... my suffering became so unbearable I HAD to change and no one could tell me how nor do it for me .. it took that last straw from her for me to drop rope and walk away without any expectation of what she would or wouldn't do because I finally came to a point I really did not care.
As far as the group .... I posted just a little bit some time ago on another site geared solely to MLC, I told my story a bit ... a few from here are there as well. I posted what had happened and that I dropped the rope I was contacted by a male member who was a part of this group on FB messenger. Its good to have a group of guys to bounce things off of .. even better when they ALL have gone through this MLC horror show and we give each other some advice of life after MLC ... some date, some don't ... one is even still married and making it through the fog with the MLCr so there is hope if you are reading and looking for that.
The thing I think that happens is you end up like myself and there really is no closure (95% of you is ok, new chapter and moving on... 5% some how believes there will be an awakening and you really honestly do not know how you would handle it) ... speaking for myself its like .. ok dropped this toxic rope that was hurting me .. now what>? I dated a bit just to know I could, but you have this PTSD thing, like you are afraid.. no terrified .. no .. maybe just unwilling to even put a pinkie toe of emotional substance into a new relationship. You were just in a horrific car accident after 25 years and you would like to be in a car, but you also know you just can not get in the thing yet. Not sure if this all makes sense or not. So you find reasons to sabotage a new relationship before it gets off the ground, or maybe the other party does not feel they are getting much from you. So its good to have some people who have Been there and done that and are still healing and learning to bounce things off of, its helped me really accept this thing and heal much faster I believe.
