For example, "I'm not interested in being friends with you while you are in a relationship with another man." There is nothing there which she can argue or dispute. It's about you putting a fence around what you will or wont accept.
What you wrote is about her. She made XYZ choices so you are responding to them. In my mind, it reads as punishing. But it also reads as leaving lots of room for further discussion.
Keep your focus on 'I statements', I think.
Thank you Kaizen, I did think my response was a little too "HER" after I sent it. I am still learning this new way of thinking and communicating and welcome your guidance in this process.
I think and I feel are ok?
I was thinking the same thing K...
I think, and I feel are good.
Just try to keep in mind though, that anytime that you use "I" or "YOU" , there is a chance to lay out quite a bit of guilt her way.
Guilt is good, however, guilt doesn't and shouldn't come from you.
Maybe something like....
"I have decided, that I will no longer allow myself to be in an open marriage."
