Man that sounds painful. I'll be doing that soon myself, I'm afraid.
So sorry you are hurting buddy. You're a good guy with a moral compass. Don't let this situation rob you of your good nature. Follow your beliefs because you are the only one that will have to live with your decisions.
Took most of the pictures down with her in them tonight. Hurt like hell.
Hurt like hell when I did it, too. However, you should have taken ALL down.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
Thanks, Thornton. Jeep, I left the one in my daughter's room, and the one right outside of it. She deserves to have those, no matter how it makes me feel.
Thanks, Thornton. Jeep, I left the one in my daughter's room, and the one right outside of it. She deserves to have those, no matter how it makes me feel.
Yes she does. We must remember that no matter how big a piece of shite the spouse is, its the kids that we must look out for. I applaud you for that. That's the reason I went as easy on my ex as I did...just for the kids. Otherwise, she'd have lost every single thing.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
Therapy today. Therapist suggested that "be the best you you can be, and put all your energy into your daughter" which pretty much everyone here is advocating is great advice and the best path forward. She was very much NOT in favor of the DB "tactics" saying they weren't exactly positive behavior.
It's two weeks until our next meeting. Hopefully little enough will happen in the next two weeks that I can actually spend less than 40 of the 45 minutes flapping my gums.
Duh for hitting post already. W is actually here right now, asleep in our bed. She actually laid down in D's bed, but I asked her to not do that (she smokes and D has allergies). Hasn't talked about anything important, other than to hint that money is tight, and she wants me to disassemble her furniture to make it easier to move.
In answer to the inevitable "why" she has a Dr appt in an hour and I'm watching D while she is there. Why am I allowing this? I honestly don't know.
Not sure what is meant by the word tactics. For my sake, it has de-escalated our relationship in a big way. Not being a crying, whimpering mess begging someone in a second childhood to return home to responsibility he doesn't want has been a good way no matter how you look at it. I feel more at peace, I'm sure he does, and the kids are living through that.
How is it making YOU feel. That is what matters. I think her method is basically just what you were doing before wasn't working so try something different. Experiment and take notes. How can that be bad?
Basically, I kept saying things like "I keep reading that you're supposed to do X" and therapist was not exactly impressed by the crowdsourced wisdom of the internet.
The only thing she really agreed with was "do this for you and your daughter" which to be fair, is the main takeaway I've gotten from people here.
So... wow. I can't even begin to talk about how weird today ended up.
W went to Dr appt. While she was gone, D wanted to play outside. I noticed how windy it was, so I got her kite out. When W came back from Dr, the two of us were out there running around and flying the thing. W got out of car and was smoking, and I told her to put the thing out and get over here and fly the darn kite. She said no, but a few minutes later came over anyway, and I gave her the string. So W, D, and I are out there flying the kite. After about 10 minutes, D gets bored and wanders off to play in the yard, and W and I end up flying that kite together for the better part of an hour.
Kaizen, I just want to thank you for the advice you gave me the other day, about not rushing divorce. After we had the above, I felt comfortable enough to talk to her about an agreement on our daughter instead of divorce (still going to lawyer on Thursday but not going to file anything at this time). She seems to be on board with that, and we're going to pull back and give this some time.
