UPDATE: So, went over to the house 2 days ago to pick up son. I normal don't go in anymore, just wait out in the driveway. This time for some reason I decided to go in. Our son was sleeping and had about 45 min to kill. Wife was in the bathroom getting ready to go somewhere and we ended up talking for a while. At first is was somewhat calm and then about 15 min into the talk, I got a text on my phone with a selfie of a female friend of mine. This girl is very pretty (as my wife is). Needless to say my wife WAS NOT HAPPY about this. "Who is that", "whats her name", "how many times have you seen her" "where does she live"...on and on. I was pretty vague and evasive. Keep in mind this is about 14 hours prior to when I first court date is scheduled for. Well, I end up leaving, taking my son to baseball practice and low and behold, my attorney calls and advises that due to some paperwork issues the first court date is going to be postponed at least 2 weeks. Upon returning to the house that night to drop off my son I decided to go in again. Wife and I ended up talking for about an hour. She admitted she was upset that I was "seeing someone else", "didnt like seeing a picture of her" so on and so forth. We talked about potentially putting divorce on hold and several other scenarios. Yesterday I had an after work happy hour with a male and she was aware of this. I was not scheduled to see my son yesterday so there would be no reason for my wife to know where I was, who i was with or what time i would be leaving/going home. At about 8:15 she texts me and says "You lied". I asked her what she meant and her response was, "longest happy hour ever I guess". She went on to accuse me of being out with that girl, accuse me of lying, hope your happy, etc... All the while she is still dating OM and open about it and telling me she loses either way. Oh well, she needs to make her mind up, cause my mind is made. I moving on with my life with or without her. I hope its with her but I have started to get some of my MOJO back and she is seeing that. Thoughts?
Me: 38 Her: 33 Bomb: 1/6/2017 Separated: 1/10/17 Together: 16 Years Son 12 Years Old She and Son still at the house Divorce Filed/Retracted Multiple Times Divorce: scheduled to be final 6/20/17
Wow! You are on to something here. Keep up the mystery and watch what happens to her. It amazes me that they can have a full-blown OM and the mere sight of some selfie on your phone sends her through the roof. Human beings are really all designed the same way. We want what we think we can't have.
M-42 W-40 S-12 D-10 Together-13 years Married-10 years Separated-6/2016 ILYBINILWY-7/2016 EA-4/2016 (best guess) PA-7/2016 (best guess)
Me: 38 Her: 33 Bomb: 1/6/2017 Separated: 1/10/17 Together: 16 Years Son 12 Years Old She and Son still at the house Divorce Filed/Retracted Multiple Times Divorce: scheduled to be final 6/20/17
She either A) Loses her family, home, assets, everything we have worked hard for or B) her new boyfriend that treats her so well "the way she has always wanted to be treated".
Me: 38 Her: 33 Bomb: 1/6/2017 Separated: 1/10/17 Together: 16 Years Son 12 Years Old She and Son still at the house Divorce Filed/Retracted Multiple Times Divorce: scheduled to be final 6/20/17
If your W decides to come back, what is going to be different than before? It is clear that you both are all over the place emotionally.
More importantly, how are you different than when you arrived here?
For what it is worth, I would suggest taking things extremely slow if your W chooses to come back. Otherwise, it will all fall apart, because all of the damage.
Work to gain the relationship skills to have a healthy MR. That includes clear communication, trust and forgiveness. It all takes time and work.
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
Work to gain the relationship skills to have a healthy MR. That includes clear communication, trust and forgiveness. It all takes time and work.
Why on earth would he even think of wanting to do that when she is sleeping with someone else? Good grief.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
Work to gain the relationship skills to have a healthy MR. That includes clear communication, trust and forgiveness. It all takes time and work.
Why on earth would he even think of wanting to do that when she is sleeping with someone else? Good grief.
I dont think LITB is saying that now is the time to do that with his W. Its a time to learn these skills for the future so that IF they started piecing, things would be different in the future.
I dont think he needs his W to learn relationship and communication skills.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
