There is nothing wrong with you! You feel what you feel, and no matter how much it would make it hurt less, you can't simply turn those feelings off. You're in a bad situation. It's going to take time, and healing, and support to get out of it.
Have you tried therapy? That's the best place to get help. Even just talking it out with someone who isn't emotionally invested in your situation and isn't trapped behind a keyboard a thousand miles away has amazing benefits.
