Status Unknown

[sandi2]

I think it's b/c she is using you as the scape goat. If this is the pattern she used in the past, why wouldn't she use it now?

I don't think a wayward can be left to heal in their own way, b/c they need guidance in the healthy way. She needs information about the addictive power of affairs, and how her resentment has eaten away her loving feelings for you. I don't think she will listen to you give her that information, but if she really wanted help in saving the MR.........it seems she would seek how to do it correctly. However, if she believes she is right and refuses to accept her part of the breakdown, then she probably won't seek help.........unless you make it manatory. Blindness to self and unwillingness are her enemies.

I think she is so wrapped up in her own feelings that she is not seeing your pain. For so long now, she has blamed you for the condition of the MR, and for her unhappiness. Until she learns through therapy or reading material with an open mind.......she may not recover from her negative attitude toward the M.

I don't know what she's done that classifies her "working so hard", unless she is referring to NC with OM. Have you been able to see her attempting to make things better between you? I'll be honest and tell you that I had no desire, whatsoever, to put forth any effort. I blamed my H for the problems, but thankfully, I was getting information from the board and soon saw my excuses for what they were.

Another thought behind this constant blaming, is the possibility of her sneaking contact with OM. If so, the blaming would be used as her attack/defense mechanism.