WW Help Needed

[codeman]

Curious what ended both of these marriages. Can you provide some more background?

My marriage ended after the loss of a child and we both just resented each other. I withdrew and she started partying.
W marriage supposedly ended when her kids graduated from high school she had had always said she was leaving to come back to Texas.

Also, if my math is right, this would put this child as born in 1987. So is this daughter both of yours? If so, what was the custody agreements while you were each married to someone else?

It's my step daughter but we are very close. We are planning to move in together when I buy a house so we can both save money. It's me, S20 from 1st M, D30, baby daddy and my grandson 6.

You told her you dont want to be her friend. Did you mean it, or was it a ploy to try to get her to 'choose' you? Honestly, I think going NC is for the best.

I read it in Sandi2 posts that it is the best way to handle a WW but I'm not sure I am interpreting it correctly. I do not want to nor can I be her friend. I thought I could be but it is not possible for me.
I'm not trying to make her do anything as I do not have that kind of power over her. I love my wife and I want my marriage back. Just looking for the best advice in dealing with her in this state of confusion she is in at the moment. I saw her at GS6 BB game. It was ok and weird as she actually side hugged me. ?? I was nice to her but nothing special.

Now she is mad and saying to never contact her

Especially since she is asking for that...

She has told me this several times now and each time she reaches out to me for some reason or another.

So what are you doing to GAL?

I am strong in this area. I immediately went to work on myself after she left. That's when it really hit me. I accept my part in this and I have asked everyone who was effected by my horrible actions and neglect for forgiveness. My actions and attitude hurt many people and all have forgiven me except her.
I work out everyday and I've lost 50 pounds. I go out with my D30 family several times a week. I'm attending church and meeting people. I'm more out going and social at events and having lots of fun on my own. I have accepted the fact that she might be gone for good and I have no power over the out come of this mess. I have turned it over to God and his will be done, not mine and I will accept that.

I would really like to know how I should treat her when she does contact me. Should I just ignore her all together?
Do I reply but act "as if"?
Do act friendly but distant?

The Lord touched my soul when this hit me and somehow I have no hate, anger or ill will for WW or OM. I can only describe it as Gods Grace. I have given her the grace that god shows us. I love her as my wife and I forgive her when she doesn't deserve it. Everyone I that knows what's going on with me tell me to just forget her and move on with my life. This is mine and her family but I cannot just walk away. I will not give up without a fight but I need your wisdom and tools to be most effective and know that I gave it my all.

Thank you for your advice to a simple man who loves his wife more then he knew and as a fool mistreated her horribly.