Dealing with Devastation

[giftd]

Texted her last night to ask if she wanted dinner since she was going to be in the area, she said "I doubt I can, but I'll let you know." I ended up taking some extra time at work and told her I had to cancel. I was pleasantly surprised when she replied with "What are you doing tonight?"

Texts were exchanged and I told her that her thesis professor had passed away, she's not good at noticing when these things happen. She thanked me. I called after work to see if she was still around because I was going to get dinner. She was but was too far away for dinner. I told her were I put the hide-a-key after she agreed to my boundaries at the house and she went to see the animals. I talked the whole 35 minute ride home with her having jokes and pleasant conversation like old times. She was still there when I got home. She saw I was taking care of the animals and the house was cleaned up, I'm trying to stay consistent with all these things.

She got visibly upset when she started to leave. Crying. Got very cold and short with some of her answers. I went out to the car 5 minutes after she had gone outside and she was still in her car crying, hadn't even started it yet. Got my stuff I needed and came back inside.

Her father called to check on me before all this. Talked about how he thinks she is having an identity crisis and is starting to miss "home". This isn't based off anything she's said, but her actions. All this gives me hope, she's chosen her work life over me and it isn't going well so far. I need to keep consistent and stay busy enough to have things to talk about. I'm happy with myself and the changes I've made, I'll find more opportunities to test them as I go. I still spend hours on the phone with my bet friend and mother just to keep myself from getting stuck in my head. I'm thinking of signing up for a cooking class at the community center, something I don't know how to cook well. I feel my confidence rising by the day, the warm weather next week should help.