First, ex-Husband: It seem he is also re-visiting BD. I am not sure what is going on in his life at the moment but he is arrogant and kind, angry and nice, fighting with everyone and feeling the shame and guilt.
Feud with son is still on. Son will be 19 this year and moving away for College this summer. He has a good job, makes good money, made arrangement to keep this job while going to College. He is progressing maturely and responsibly. He is very independent and barely ask for help from me or his father. I watch over his progress and I am very pleased. Now, he is 18.. He does socialize at times. He is a normal teen who could be way worst than he is. The bigger picture of his living is looking good to me. He has a good head on his shoulder and has his future planned out. He has put money aside for his departure, knowing that I also have an account under his name. He calls it a security blanket and does not want to touch it. Daughter21 has not touched hers either.
Last Friday, I had a kind of a date.. (more on this later). Ex-H text me about Son leaving his home for the week-end without waiting for Ex-H to finish work and say Good Bye. Complaining that he had not seen him and checking to see if we were going to visit D21. I answered: Yes, we are going to visit D21. It is true. .. Ex-H ask if Son was here.. I ignore the text cause I was not here myself and did not know if Son had arrived. 7PM, Son texted me to know where I was. ( therefor, Son was here lol ). I reminded him of the theater show I was going to and informed him of our departure first thing in the morning.
Saturday morning, I hear Son saying: (sad and concerned voice from his bedroom)"No, No way, No".. I walked by and saw him sitting on his couch sadden. I walked in and asked him what was going on?? He cried and screamed how tired he was of his father' s Bull Sh**. Tired of being threated like a child. Tired of being tied to a rope. Tired of feeling worthless and not good enough..
I stopped him.. " Look, I am going to repeat something I said a long time ago.. Look at the world around you.. Your father is lashing out. He needs an outlet for his anger and frustration. He has his views and beliefs. He wants you safe. His rope is his way of keeping you safe. His choices of words are not the best and are not always the truth. Look around.. You are an 18 year old with a good paying full time job, YOU have taken care of your College registrations and financials on your own with the help of your teacher. You own a car and see to all expenses attach to it on your own. You are currently looking for residency for next fall.. You are very mature, responsible, kind and loveable. I have no doubt of your future success. I am very proud of the man you are.
He hugged me sooooo tight and repeated how much he loves me. I said: Lets go see your sister. How she is doing. This will be you in a few months.. Hang in there.. Keep working at it. You are on the right path.. We left.. We had an amazing week-end. Me and all 4 of my children and future son-in-law. We explored a new hiking trail, we shopped for summer clothes, we ate at our favorite restaurant and we watched a movie.. Everybody came back happy and re-fueled..
D16 said Ex-H told her in his mind, they are still 6-8-10 and 13 years old.. The age they were when he left. (Weird)
