WRT to an agreement, I am pretty sure that would not be acceptable to W as a temporary measure. I'll talk to lawyer about this next week, though, and get his take.
I assume that given that you have a daughter, there is some agreement on custody arrangements right now? I assume that you arent deciding where she is sleeping day by day. My point is to get it in writing so that she cant just 'up and take her' as you fear. Same with finances - if youre on a joint cc, then I imagine you are liable for her spending right now even being separated. What are you going o do to protect yourself? If she wont agree to something, then maybe youre right and divorce IS the best option.
Originally Posted By: EastTN
As far as our relationship giving us structure, that's not what I'm saying. I'm saying our relationship is PREVENTING structure.
Im sorry, but I still dont understand. Im guessing I wasnt being clear. You said that you need your life to have some structure to it. My question is why do you need to worry about this relationship in order to build a structure? I believe you can get into a clear routine right now based on your GAL. Whether or not your W is involved, I think you can build this for yourself. I agree you cant really make plans for 10 years out right now, but I think you may be able to at least plan out for a few weeks/months at this point.
Originally Posted By: EastTN
Now that I'm here, I have a desperate need to plan my way out of this box I'm in. GAL, etc are a part of that planning, but "finance" and "child care" are the keystones. Nothing I do will be correct if those aren't accounted for.
I agree completely. These are incredibly important pieces to your life puzzle. I also agree that you need to have something documented to protect yourself. In my opinion, this should be doable without actually dissolving the marriage, but if your W wont agree to anything, then it may be necessary to involve the judicial system to get these parameters set.
Originally Posted By: EastTN
I'd just like to be able to have dinner with someone of the opposite sex without feeling like a cheater.
What does being divorced have to do with this? I believe that even if you were legally divorced right this second, that you would still feel like a cheater on some level. I think it was Cadet that told me once that there are two kinds of divorce: the physical one and the emotional one and they have nothing to do with each other. I think you need to be emotionally divorced before youll feel comfortable proceeding in this way.
