Wife left two days before our anniversary! Part 3

[jbroken]

I am overtaken with a lot of guilt and remorse at this moment. It is something I haven't felt as yet. Not to the depth I am currently. My conscience is extremely heavy. Those times I lost my temper at her where it wasn't her fault, the times I was overly critical about things around the home, the times I had a bad day at work and she was on the receiving end of it. I feel so ashamed at the way I was in those moments I can't really put in words. I should have been better. She deserved it. Her faults or mistakes are no excuse for my behaviour or actions. I can't even recall any of hers at the moment. Just owning up to mine. I can't bring back the past-I would do anything humanly possible to do so. But, I can't. All I can do is feel the present and work on these that will have no part in the NEW me. I hope and pray that she will have the same bout of reflection. Perhaps not now. But maybe in time. And her heart will soften. Maybe she is too foregone. And it is really 'too late'. But, I am cursed to be hopeful. Perhaps, until the bitter end.