Although I contributed to the affair from an emotional standpoint, she was the one to take the physical steps.
Good grief. You DID NOT. Don't try to take the blame for a cheater's actions. Period. Dude, you need to call it for what it is, and stop trying to blame yourself. She made the conscious decision. While your actions may have resulted in her wanting a divorce, she was checked out LONG before the affair happened. To think that you caused it is bullshite. And stop trying to justify her affair...that's the lowest thing a spouse can do to another.
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I think when you are 25 plus years into a relationship and have 4 kids it takes a long time to detach and reach the point where you can just walk away. Although I am ambivalent about the marriage, I currently sway more to being willing to accept her back and try to reconcile. Although, there would need to be serious steps taken to end the A and have no contact, etc.
10 years and two kids. Yep, takes a long time to detach. Why are you willing to overlook an affair?
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
