My W definitely knows I will fight for us. However, when I told her I'll be okay with or without her, she went into either panic or temp checking mode, and made sure there wasn't another girl or that I still wanted this R. I told her, "you are what I want" but "I won't lay down in the floor and stop living if you leave." That hit her pretty hard, but she still can't carry on a real R conversation as she "doesn't know or can't say what she wants for sure." Her whole life has been driven by fear, and that is what is driving this now. I hate to tell her that once she leaves the comforts of someone who protected her for almost 12 years, everything else becomes a lot more scary. She may have to figure out the hard way.
I came close to saying something like this yesterday when we were talking about our "new norm". I almost blurted out that I'm not concerned about meeting someone else (last time I was crushed and couldn't imagine being with anyone else), but I'm just in it for the 4 of us.
I stopped short because of not trying the pursue here when I know she needs space. She was taken aback when she noticed I took of my wedding ring even before she did hers.
Honestly, if D happens and I'm dating again, I'll find that fun and I'm ok with it. I just honestly think there is so much good in our family unit that it's worth all this and just sticking through my "no regrets" policy I'm going with.
Keep it up LW!!
Me 42, Wife 39; Married 16; Together 17; Kids: D13, S10 Wife asks for Divorce: 03/19/13 Reconcile: 07/07/13 Round 2 Starts: 02/19/17 Apartment Life: 04/21/17 PA Confirmed: 05/23/17
