Leaving it up to God (I think!)

[roist]

Maybe H thinks you are away with the faeries for thinking you can work on it. Two perspectives of the same situation.

I don't think that you are wrong to stand and I do think you have a chance to turn things around.

However I do think that you are wrong to EXPECT him:
# to admire your stance
# to appreciate how loving you are
# that he will act differently because he used to
Your H has changed and he is not held by previous restrictions on how to behave. I am not condoning this, just pointing it out. Just remember that everything he does is him trying to b happy. That is his sole objective. Everything else including you are secondary to him. His treatment of you should not be taken personally. Achieve that and I believe you will be much better able to handle the knocks you take along the way.

Stop thinking the worst of H. For example maybe he has gone NC because he is respecting your expressed desire to stop current interactions. Do it could be a sign of respect and not considered automatically that he is disrespecting you by remaining silent.

For the moment you need to focus on getting to a place where you can interact with him without the built up anger and resentment. Set yourself the objective to consider breaking NC only when you manage this. Work on that and once achieved decide then what your next step should be.

I know that this is not easy, but I have confidence you can get through it with shining colours.

Whilst doing the above, I agree you should attack the revamp of your house. Make big changes. Get excited about it. Put your stamp on the house. You will feel more at home afterwards and will be proud of the changes achieved. Do some of the work with friends. Limitless possibilities and opportunities. Seize them

Best wishes