Just met with the Lawyer, it went well. He told me since I have retained him, not to have any contact with her or her lawyer (if she were to get one) without consulting My L first. I told him I want nothing to do with her and do not want to speak or talk to her. He said I’m going to make it easier, as I had already filled out all the paperwork. He will respond to the court as well as to STBX. L said he hopes she gets a lawyer that has the same mentality as we do, in the sense of lets get this show on the road and get the D finalized. L said he wished W wouldn’t have pissed me off (the shady money and cell phone thing) because it just puts money in “lawyer’s” pockets. He clarified, the court will give my wife a date to “buy” me out of any equity, and it’s up to her to figure it out, should it come down to that. Spousal support, same thing. For Debts and assets I told him whatever the court / judge sees fit that’s what I want. If I get half of the equity, she gets half of the joint debt, and I get spousal support then so be it. If the court says I get nothing, then so be it. The bottom line, I want the court to decide, not my wife, and not me. I told the L the reason I am ok with whatever happens was because at one point I was going to walk away and just sign D papers. If I come out with anything, then I’m ahead, if not, I will figure it out. I always do. L said my response will be filed within 24/48 hrs. and then we will go from there. I feel pretty good. I like him, he said a few things I really liked. can’t think of the top of my head but overall, I’m ready. I feel ready. It’s time to move on. It’s time to continue to move forward. And if I never see her again, then I never see her again. Should our paths cross one day, then so be it and we can tackle it then. If not, I’m confident I’m already better off. With that, I did have a really rough past week, doubts, mourning the person I once loved and married, missing my D, the year of BD happened, D’s birthday on Thursday, getting the paperwork. just everything kind of happened, and it happened worse than it had ever, but its part of the road. I know I might get down when the D is final but with that, I’ll be ok again. I mailed a card for D this morning, a birthday card and a gift card to a restaurant because we always took D out for dinner, I figure I’d still “Take her out” I also included a poem I wrote for her 3 years ago but never gave her. I always felt maybe ashamed to love her as much as I did or show it. (has to do with my childhood not her I now know) but it was time. I mailed it in the original paper I wrote it on, all crumbled and folded in my hand writing. I was going to re write it but…nah. Anyway, Here it is, You’re just a little girl now but someday you’ll understand That no matter how this world spins us ill be there to hold your hand We may not share the same blood but I raised you as my own & I hope you still turn to me when you’re old and grown It melts my heart to hear your say I love you almost every day An unconditional love I could not receive in any other way. you’re turning 8 now (she’s actually going to be 11) but pretty soon you’ll be 28 With your own life and kids and a loving soul mate. I’m so proud of the girl you are, I love who you’re becoming Smart, confident, caring sincere, and oh so very loving. Happy birthday, Her name, Your mom and I love you so much. I hope you have 100 more and still love us just as much. -I don’t regret not giving it to her before. It just is. And it’s time. My love for her has nothing to do with W and my relationship. I’ll always love her and she will always be my little girl.
At any rate I’m good. I’m happy, and I leave for vacation on fridayyyyy.
