It's happening

[coffee_]

Well, I had my first real visual of my XW with the OM. My stomach dropped and there was something that came up in my throat.
I feel I have done a good job at detaching. So why are these feelings still coming to me? I feel ripped off, lied to.

I know I need to move on, and I have for the most part, but I still have to deal with that woman on a weekly basis because we have S14 and some other loose ends to tie up.

For the vets...how do I completely move on, I feel I am stuck, just treading water right now. I have GAL. I was reading another post on here about finding my passion. I just don't have that yet, I feel I am searching for it but have not found it. Nor do I have time...busy at work and being a single dad.

I get wrapped up in my head sometimes,,,thinking about why this all happened to me, what did I do to deserve this. Sometimes for hours on end. Then I conclude that I didn't deserve this, but I am glad to be free from the drama, the cheating, the lies. A year ago I was living in my dream house, taking care of a 2yo that wasn't mine, dealing with a drunk FIL, and a lying wife. Today I live in an apartment, work my behind off, spend time with my new GF (who is amazing, I never knew how good it felt to actually be loved for who I am) I am happy to be single most days but look forward to being a Husband again, I feel I was a good one. I have also realized that my XW and I just got M'd when we where too young. We survived many tragedies hardships and disappointments. I think these just built up over time and she gave up in wanting to be a team. I am sad for that, we made a good team. I guess I will never know how it feels to be her, to cheat, to be so destructive to a relationship, to my life partner. I do know that I will never do that to my loved ones.