What he says is that we all must face the 2 choices that are presented and MAKE a choice. Where problems arise is when we duck the choices. So for a LD woman, she must face the 2 choices that she has, and they are "To regain the ability to WANT our spouse" or basically divorce. For the man, his choices are to accept nothing less then her desire or move on and find someone else that will WANT you (divorce). The problem is that so many of us accept a third option, to do nothing or continue the failed tactics that result in nothing.
About the status of the man, yes, we should not accept crap. What I have seen from my own wife and also from what some other LD women have posted before is that their HD husbands are not the confident men they need. When a man gets affirmation in the form of a women that desires him physically, he is extremely confident in ALL phases of his life. But once a HD man is being rejected physically both in lack of sex and lack of affection, it wears down his confidence. This makes him unappealing to the LD women which causes him to get even less sex, and the circle continues. In effect, the women causes the man to become unappealing to herself. The women sees that she can give very little to the man in a physical relationship, and when she sees how easily he is willing to put up with the crap that she is giving him, she loses respect for him. She wants a man that is willing to stand up to her, even about sex.
So us guys need to regain our self respect and confidence. THis means removing thoses things that destroy our confidence, and what hurts a mans self confidence more then a LD women?
I am not sure I agree with everything this guy has written yet, but it does seem to have some truth to it. He seems to be a brilliant analyst. Like I said though, it confuses me when compared to other books I have read.
By the way what is the right thing. I have 3 young kids in a marriage where there is no affection and very liitle sex. If I stay, then the kids will be far better off. There is no violence or anger in the house. But a women that does not desire affection and sex, has absolutly no way to make ANY love bank deposits with me. There is absolutely no point to a marriage to a ND women. Heck, even the Bible says that divorce from a ND woman is OK.
