Leaving it up to God (I think!)

[Coly23]

Dear Altair, so lovely to hear from you. I miss our regular updates with AP too.

I'm hoping things will get better but it seems to be taking such a long time! I feel sometimes that I am getting better but then something happens and triggers my anxiety and I spiral down even further. Will this ever end?

I am so grateful for my D but I constantly feel this guilt for her even though she says she is fine and I have nothing to worry about. What makes me mad is that H stood up in front of 80 family and friends on our wedding day and promised to be the Dad that she never had. I can accept the fact that he has broken our vows but to break the promises he made to her for me is unforgivable.

How is it going with you Altair. Has H moved as yet?

SBJ, thanks so much for your visit. I don't feel very strong at the moment but I do also realise that H is not very strong either and that is why I think it is likely he will not want to work on our marriage. I know that's mind reading but he has always been the sort of person who would rather walk away than fight.

I need to stop focusing on him but its so hard. I think my anger is starting to kick in and I'm afraid it might explode at some point!

I feel so exhausted with it all. I have just finished reading Raine's sitch and although she reconciled her H left again and that's what scares me. If me and H ever reconciled I would be so scared he would leave again. I'm not sure I could cope with that.

Thanks for responding guys, I really appreciate your support and encouragement.